Katt Williams A Free Man!

Midget Mac Katt Williams may be broke, but he will not do time for two guns NY police officers claimed they observed in his car, last November.

It seems that the District Attorney in NYC decided to reject the two weapons against Williams, because if it went to trial he wouldn't be able to be seen over the witness stand and he couldn't afford lawyers anyways. Okay, let me stop. It seems that they 'couldn't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt'.

Isn't that technically the case with every gun possession charge then? Seems fishy to us. How could anyone prove that a gun was found on someone. Isn't it that based on the integrity of the officers? But whatever, at least he doesn't have to shell out more money.

K-Fed Using His Kids For Money Again!

No one could ever imagine that Kevin Federline would use his famous children as a meal ticket. Barf! That fast ass, has been former dancer, who once tried to act Black, and be a rapper, has somehow landed a deal with VH1. And you know no one is interested in him, so you're going to love this.

Him and Jon Gosselin will be BFFs as he will pretend to care about his kids as well, while whoring them out to TV cameras. Something his former wife and superstar performer Britney Spears doesn't even do! The show will revolve around him sitting on his fat ass all day, as his hired help that Brit pays for takes care of his children.

You can also expect to catch his equally fame hungry girlfriend and failed tennis player Victoria Prince to get her face on TV. Although the couple has no plans of marrying yet, she lives off of him at his California mansion, also paid for by Britney. Says a source, "Victoria is a big part of the series… They are not engaged, but she lives with him full-time in his place in Encino."

I wonder is his kids from the less famous Shar Jackson will also appear on the show, since they are costing him money instead of earning it from him. This should get inetersting once Britney goes back to court and fights for her 50/50 custody, which she pretty much has now.

We hope while Grandpapa Jamie is still in charge, that he puts a hault on this whole hot mess!

And also, since he will have his own income, we hope a judge will agree that Britney no longer has to pay him 16K a month for her baby boys.

Bam Hospitalized Because He Decided to Booze it Up!

Usually we have to go on these crazy rants to explain our points. But the next story is soooo stupid that I don't even have words. Especially when the person it's about is known to snort a coke like it's an inhaler.

Bam Margera decided that since his marriage is going down the crapper, that he should go on a 96 hour alcohol binge. We'll say alcohol becase that's all he's admitted to. Sure there was no 8 balls, ounces of green and e pills involved. Either way, this is what apparently caused the Jackass and Viva La Bam alum to end up in the hospital talking to crazy people doctors.

His Mama was kind enough to further explain to TMZ that his kidney and leg muscles were jacked up from dehydration. The hospital flushed his system and he was able to go home after speaking with a psychiatrist.

When asked himself the dumbass answered: "I may get a divorce ... booze helps." I mean most Americans try things like communication, therapy and growing the fuck up. But not Bam, he's speacial. I can tell he took a short bus to school.

UFC Fighter Kimo Leopoldo Dies - The World is A Safer Place

UFC Fighter Kimo Leopoldo died. And honestly, I am not feeling one bit bad for him. Now ya'll know by now that I don't wish death on nobody. But this man was a drug fueled, hot headed, wife beater. And death ain't gonna make me feel no different.

It's not even like was the greatest. He posted a 10-7-1 record, which is only 18 fights. Plus, when MJ died, you know I kept that funky fresh too. I am tired of death erasing all the harmful things you did. He doesn't even have a legacy to leave behind.

If you think I'm being too mean, the man got off on all the charges he was facing now. And one of his favorite quotes were: People go up and down, but the heart of the individual and their motives is what they are about,

Need I say more?

Madonna's Stage Falls & Kills!

Maybe the heavens decided it needed to do something as drastic as taking a life, to remind Madonna, that she is considered an elderly woman, at her age (50), and she needs to stop singing in too toos and leotards.

In a tragic twist of events, a stage hand for Madonna's Sticky and Sweet tour was killed today and six were injured after a stage fell on top of a crane; which in turn fell atop the poor people who have to put together and take apart stages for Granny. The incident occurred at Velodrome Stadium, in Marseille, France, where Madonna was slated to perform July 19th, 2009.

The Queen B, who from the safety of her handlers, released the below statement, will probably name one of her adopted kids after the victim. Two of the other six injured are in critical condition.

Madge said:

"I am devastated to have just received this tragic news. My prayers go out to those who were injured and their families along with my deepest sympathy to all those affected by this heartbreaking news."

If she's that heartbroken, open your overstuffed wallet and pay up bitch. Because I'm pretty sure you won't be canceling that performance. And seeing as one of the other two men in critical condition is American, you can have some trouble coming your way. You know the favorite American past time is to sue.

Katt WIlliams Bankrupt - Guess He'll be Playing Santa's Helper This Winter

If the rumors from Humor Mill are true, everyone's favorite shock value comedian is headed for brokeville!

According to the site, there are multiple sources confirming that the actor/comedian has indeed filed for bankruptcy. Which is just another point of controversy in the last year. Perhaps buying lavish homes, aiding and bedding a convict, and buying black market weapons, have cost more than expected. Those Lawyers fees add up. Or perhaps, trying to retire from stand up, which includes turning down a $50 Million dollar deal from Comedy Central, way before your time and before you set yourself up financially didn't help.

But my real theory is that all those perms and hair products bit you in the ass. We know how expensive it is to keep the hair looking good. And we all know God don't like ugly. Maybe that stunt you pulled with Steve Harvey came and bit you with karma in the ass. There's always a job with the Mall Santa!

P.S. I wonder what you will do, now that you don't have money to fuel your excessive coke, weed, and 'surp habit. Please don't go Amy Winhouse on us!g

Hailey Glassman - The Pot Head, Has Feelings Too

Please someone give that douche bag stuck in a pre-midlife crisis and suffocated into Christin Audigier top, a conoli filled with shit, so he can keep his pie hole shut. And while they're at it, hand that 22 tramp he's fucking a bong and an once of green so they can keep those made for paparazzi smiles wide.

Apparently, Hailey Glassman, daughter of the plastic surgeon who nipped and tucked sexto-mom Kate Gosselin, is "hurt" about the allegations the press is making about her. We would feel sorry for her, exept that she's homewrecked a family of 10 by spreading her tuna thighs wide, and is plastering her face all over the media, by being seen and holding hands with the balding 32 year old Jon Gosselin.

On top of that, she is mad at the story that ran in Us Weekly, about her checkered pot smoking, ex-con ass. The story is 100% true. Did she not realize that when you hit it big by fucking a TLC parent (can not believe I just refenced innocent network TLC and used the word fucking), the tabloids were gonna run a background check? Apparently, while partying it up in St. Tropez Monday with her overweight and 10 years senior boo, she couldn't keep it together.

A source said: "U.S. press is all over stories about her being some slutty party girl with a history of arrests… She was upset tonight."

Boo Hoo bitch! Go slide down someone's pole, preferably someone who isn't on the cover of every tabloid weekly; so the world will forget you and I never have to see ur fug face again! Below is the mugshot heard around the world!

The King of Pop Has Died...And I'm Just Gonna Shut My Trap!

As you must already know, Michael Jackson has passed away. From his debut at age 11 with his brothers, the world was not only in love, but mesmerized. He career sparked 13 number 1 singles, countless memories and a new direction in music. No one will forget Thriller, still the highest selling album ever. But please, I have to get this off my chest.

Him dying was probably the best thing that happened to minors across the globe, his estate and his obviously fucked up children.

Shhhh...I didn't just say that. I feel like Two Face in Batman. But homeboy wanted to be Peter Pan. Peter, mother effing Pan! Fine, I'll buy the vitiligo story, but what butcher used a meat clever on your jaw line, and a fruit peeler on your nose? (Lil' Kim, that's you in 20 years. Stop with the plastic bitch!) And how did those naps turn to silky tresses fit for a Garnier Commercial? I understand that we should never wish death on anyone. And I didn't wish that fate on him. But he was never gonna be strapped down in a padded cell on a Ritalin diet, like I felt he needed. At least until he realized he was no longer a child, but a man old enough to be a grandfather! (Reminiscing on Britney's 5150 Hold. Thank God for her parents.) No one dared to stop a man that needed to be saved; because of his wealth and name. At least he is in a place, where he will no longer be a harm to himself or anyone else. And there will be nothing but honesty and boys flying around with miniature fairies. SMH!